Crying at Weddings

I have heard it said that the world is like 'great big onion.' And, putting aside the soft and slightly-poetic nature of this allegory, there is an easy and evident truth in the comparison. The world, the nation, society, is layered in such a manner that one might peel away one layer to reveal another fresher and more shiny, perhaps 'better seeming,' layer, again and again, peel one away and another is exposed, fully functional and self-sustaining. I prefer to think in terms of a tiered wedding cake, where the interconnected nature of the creation is less guarded, more decorated and 'celebrated,' and openly hierarchical.

I never have incidentally, cried at weddings that is. I've fought back tears at funerals, but never yet at weddings. I suppose that if I were ever expected to fund a wedding, then I might cry, but otherwise I'd probably settle for getting slightly drunk and spending time with people that I might never get to see again... until the next time, the next wedding or the next funeral.



Even the 'wobblier moments' at funerals have been far more to do with reacting to other people's tears than they have to any personal loss on my part. Absolutely no disrespect is intended here; it's just that I've been 'fortunate' thus far, in that all of those who I have watched being either lowered into the ground, or else being wheeled into the furnace, have not succumbed suddenly. Even those who have died well before their time have been served due notice. They were old or they were sick or they were both, but they did not die without others knowing that their time was drawing to a close. It has always been the upset of the living that has moved me more to 'tears.' I do not react well to the distress of others.

Even when I have been requested to deliver a eulogy- twice this has happened- I have managed to sidestep the tears. Maybe pausing to draw breath, during those reflective moments when the sobbing of others may be heard, that is when I have come closest. But the pause was always thus far merely extended and the composure left intact, the moment passed, tears did not come. No, instead I am more likely to cry because I have seen that others are doing so. I think that I will not 'bend,' that my lip is set, that the facade will not melt. Perhaps I overthink these things.



But then there's nothing wrong with overthinking things, especially if the alternative is the absence of any sort of excuse for thought at all.

I have mused for decades that society is something akin to a wedding cake. It's hardly an original thought, any more than is the idea of the layered onion; others have said much the same sorts of things.

As already argued, my contention is that the wedding cake is not just suggestive of tiers, it is a celebration of exactly that, the smallest and yet the 'grandest' held aloft upon the sculpted pillars of hierarchical exclusivity. The guests may partake of the lowest tears, whereas the topmost layer is to be secreted away for a more family-based and selective clientele. Unlike the skins of the aforementioned onion these layers are a celebration of betterment, a 'facsimile' of the happy couple even perhaps standing proudly upon the upmost level. Yet here upon the cake, each and every tier may not stand, not as elevated, not without the existence of the one below. By design all layers are in this together.



The most recent leaking of details of tax evasion via financial arrangements in Panama did not come as any sort of shock. We had known that the evasion was prevalent amongst the higher tiers, it was merely the fine detail of which we were unaware. The manner in which most reporting of this is done is disingenuous in the extreme; to insult the public so hints at far deeper issues. The problem is not revealed in the words of the report, so much as in the empty spaces between the words.

One of Premier Blair's advisers- name irrelevant- during Blair's ignoble reign, sort of hinted at the truer depth of the problem when he explained on the BBC why he 'thought' that the publicising of fuller tax returns was a terrible idea. He turned the tables on the reporters, by 'wondering' whether it was right for reporters to question the validity of Cameron's tax affairs when their own finances were not in the public domain.



For those with the ears and the reasoning to grasp the fuller picture the implications and the image of any society that this 'question' paints is truly dire! Because, in our hearts we already know that any real notion of 'such a society' is a damned and a cursed one! Understand the nation/world from the bottom and your thoughts are of no interest, climb to a more elevated level and moderate your thoughts and you may be permitted to share and publicise them, regardless of their utter vacuity. Hell, moderate your thoughts enough and they may even get you elected via a media where most thoughts are either ignored or else heavily moderated. Have we never wondered why it is that any pop-star or other 'celebrity' may now share their thoughts with the nation, regardless of their credentials? Serve your community as a librarian or medic and you may be expected to do so for free, serve yourself upon a higher tier and wealth and riches may rain down in abundance, serve yourself at the top and you may not even have to utter the words, simply raise an eyebrow and someone more lowly may undertake your bidding on your behalf. Seriously question the hierarchy of the cake, whereby everything is dictated from on high, and your life as you now know it may well be forfeit.

We do not wonder why it is that our own offspring may be permitted to tighten their belts, that the nation may 'survive intact,' when others may step upon the heads and fingers of others to serve up so much bilge from a higher and more sanctified tier, perhaps to share their concerns at inequality and crippling poverty whilst perpetuating the same by evading the taxes that others must pay. Looking down, they have already recognised that 'this layer' is better than 'that layer.' Thus the layer yet higher is even more safe, but we already know all this, we have recognised the layer below our own, to which we do not wish to return, it's very much the wedding cake of an arranged marriage.

The more we vote the less democracy we seem to get.