Ol Doinyo Lengai

Ol Doinyo Lengai is unique in being the world's only active carbonatite volcano. It's tucked away in an out-of-the-way corner of Tanzania. It's not particularly big and, although it seems to be at least mildly active most of the time, it doesn't even glow in the daytime, just emits a dull isolated redness at night, something like an angry boil. It sits quietly and patiently upon the shores of Lake Natron, which is an altogether different image.

There is, or there was, an element of inconvenience in getting to the place, but this should be considered almost insignificant when set against the magnitude and majesty that awaits one upon arrival. In the context of the wider landscape Ol Doinyo Lengai is but a furuncle upon an almost unblemished skin, and an exquisitely beautiful one at that.

Of course, it is really so much more than this, much as the spectacular geysers at Yellowstone might one day blow the lid off the globe! 



Flooding at Lake Natron is unlikely to present a serious issue for generations to come. Drought might yet have its day, but 'flooding?' A sustained period of seriously heavy rains might even unzip the austere beauty of the place and transform it fully and truly into nothing short of a Paradise upon this Earth! Whereupon humanity would swiftly set about corporatising its assets and exploiting its material wealth. Then, not only would we have a Paradise, but we would also possess within it a yet more 'magnificent' and marketable paradise, bite-sized pieces even.

I'm certain that neither those residing upon the Somerset Levels, nor significant chunks of Yorkshire or Lancashire, would begrudge Lake Natron a significant share of their  overgenerous precipitation. Water, 'the bringer of life,' and yet it is also capable of so much more. The beauty that one natural phenomenon may provide, whilst also sweeping away so many of our precious acquisitions, is both curious and terrifying to behold. If only corporations could control nature I 'honestly' believe we'd have it cracked.



It's what we humans do so very well, working together for the betterment of all, that everything thereof and every part therein shall thrive. We could argue all day, as to which method might best achieve this, we One Nation Conservatives, but in this post that would be to digress. Working small scale, we would first need to help those most affected by unkind circumstance, and amongst these the victims of flooding.

"Thank the Lord Above for insurance," I say. It is thus, with responsible investment in the insurance corporations, that we can rebuild each and every tiny little boxed paradise within the overriding and greater 'paradise.' In rebuilding this 'aspiration,' the government shall unbutton its bulging pockets, and funds shall rain down as might alone dam up the cracks. In rebuilding tomorrow's 'paradise,' society's 'figureheads' and society's high-fliers might bleed benevolence, that we shall once again be healed.

But, just a minor point, even 'paradise' might require an element of policing; forget not that Eve was cast out, caught red-handed, with her hand in the cookie jar. This, a reference to those who might choose to exploit our benevolence. Insurance corporations at the ready, scammers and cheats cast out, the sky is already lighter, the air is sweeter.



Just t'other day I myself had cause to partake of our benevolent society. Nothing as serious as needing to refurnish a home recently scoured of content. Instead, unfortunate circumstance had brought about a trauma to our new-to-us car. The dent was small, the motorcyclist shaken but not broken- 'twas ensured that he arrived safely home- and the insurance claim was swiftly dealt with. Liability had anyway already been accepted.

The car was booked in within days. Had it been the 'old' car, the one that our two-year-old granddaughter had taken to calling the, "Crazy car!" I wouldn't have bothered at all. During journeys to and from Norwich she would sometimes list the faults, waving her arms and gesticulating like the great orator that she is.



"When can I pick it up?" I enquired. I was informed that the car would require, "a lot of work," and that the corporation would be hanging on to the vehicle for five working days. "Have you availed yourself of a courtesy car?" the lady behind the desk smiled, "the insurers will sometimes pay the cost of car hire," she elaborated.

The insurance spokesperson will flash those teeth at the camera and 'inform' the nation of the deep, deep sympathy that burns at the heart of each and every insurer, and that they will be losing serious sleep in order to ensure that flood-victims may soon be permitted to commence the rebuilding of their own private boxed paradises. There is, of course, no need for an equivalent bod to flash the furniture, in defence of the car-repair corporations that continue bleed the system. Those who may well be experiencing their second or even their third prolonged bout of happy bed and breakfasting would be best placed to appreciate this curious juxtapositioning.



They may well come to the conclusion that this is because the insurers of paradise are far too concerned with treading down those in pursuit of any-kind-of-paradise, at the behest of those in control of every-sort-of-Hell! A model for we 'One Nation' thinkers.

"So, this 'paradise," we should have enquired, "is it an 'inclusive' or an 'exclusive' model? Can I just run an eye over the blueprints?" Check the small print! "Is there a policy on 'homelessness?"

That is not my signature!