The Curdled Cream

Although Boris Johnson has surrounded himself with the least capable, the least versatile, the most tunnel-visioned, although his class and his puppeteers own the newspapers and the media generally, certainly now the figurehead of the BBC, indeed much of the physical country, although he has sought to effectively play at God with the lives of our (state-educated) children, although he has endeavoured to shackle or to otherwise censor those who might still wish to question his inabilities, those who still dare to wonder if his actions have not already cost rather too many of the nation's citizens, although he has sought to censor science itself, still his ineptitude burns out like an angry beacon in a storm of its own causing. Bluster and spittle, and money alone, cannot dull its awful lustre!

It could be said, indeed it often has been, that he is not quite as God-awful as is Trump! A low bar, indeed! It could be said that our's is not the globe's only reactionary government, that Jair Bolsonaro is yet more limited in his abilities, that Benjamin Netanyahu is yet more overtly racist and more dangerous. It could be said that he has been handed a 'mandate' to steer this vessel, that he is gifted, that he has a vision, that he is the Brexiteer visionary's 'la creme de la creme!'



If it is true, that he does have a vision, maybe he is a modern-day incarnation of Hieronymus Bosch, without any of the talent? Maybe he regards us merely as subjects in his own peculiar depiction of the third panel, to be but heeled shut, upon each and every attempt at closer scrutiny? Is that Sage's Dom we can detect, throaned in blue- has he travelled all this way with that depiction of Sajid Javid wedged in his throat, testing out those inhuman eyes, excreting doctored 'wisdoms' for the nation's consumption? If Johnson is any sort of cream then it is of a monstrously curdled strain!

Why are we not more grateful? Perhaps it is, after all, our vision which is impaired? Was the wider Panorama perchance obscured, when we so dutifully trundled to the ballot boxes like so many distracted sheeple, the barking of Murdoch's attack dogs ushering us obediently through the appointed gates?

It cannot surely be possible that Johnson still imagines himself more as Gainsborough's 'Mr Andrews, Mrs Andrews' dutifully mute, given dictator of all he surveys, to the horizons and beyond, perhaps the imagery instead Sagely tweaked to 'Mr Andrews and Concubine,' not one solitary dissenting soul to tarnish the view, lest be heard? The muted colours curdle the clouds to deadened grey. Instead, is that not Cummings's 'wise' countenance, daring us to question authority, Mary looking pale and suitably viral? Dare we instead name the smitten beagle, as Boris? "Fetch, boy!"  

The mighty Kafka himself would have been proud to have fabricated such a 'Trial.' Targets conjured from the aether, inconvenient deaths denied, kicked into the proverbial 'long grass?' Has Hancock been at it again, 'all care workers and elderly residents tested?' Or was it 'about to be tested?' Or maybe 'familiarised with the concept of being tested at some indeterminate time in the near, or not so near, future?' Does Hancock have form in the dark arts of such misinformation? I forget, is that 100,000, or 100,000 by the 32nd of the month? everybody now, or everybody once the numbers have been further whittled down as a consequence of non-specific incompetence? Will future briefings then be devoted to instructing the minions in the tricky arts of counting? Rachael Riley, she's good at counting, isn't she? But will she misinform for the cause? Or will she just get carried away, start lashing out? I've heard it said that Philip Schofield can been taught to bark on command, but surely Gordon was the actual brains, wasn't he... surely! More of a yap than a bark as such; don't suppose the likes of Kelvin McKenzie would be overly impressed. Lord Kelvin McKenzie? Nah, I doubt they'd be able to adequately soap away the working-class-blood trail!



It's not really journalism though, is it Phil? Not really reporting, but then that's not really your role, per se, is it? Admittedly, you'll be looking a bit of an empty vessel, to those who can be bothered to peel away the sticking plaster, and to peer at the festering sore beneath, but hey! Concentrate on the sheeple, leave the rest to the big boys!

John Mann, life peerage, seat in the Lords, never have too many! Baron Mann, how's that sound to you, John? Sweet! Ian Austin, on the other hand? Seems, although he did once pretend to sit with the bigger boys, that he was never able to rise to the heady heights of independent thought? Was it desperation, or just angry bleeting that saw him campaigning for the Tories in 2019- does an Austin peerage seem likely? Too desperate? Ian McNicol, another life peerage, simply for helping to hobble the anti-semitism files! Likely to feature in the leaked internal Labour Report- suppressable?- but isn't that what the Lords are there for, as a safeguard against democratic seepage? Dame Margaret Hodge, well now, she does have form! Outspoken on anti-semitism, with or without due cause, views upon the operational activities of AIPAC and Gilad Erdan's Ministery of Strategic Affairs and Public Diplomacy are necessarily far less well documented. Dame Margaret's been worrisomely less outspoken on other forms of controversy and injustice over the years, dots that are unlikely to ever be properly joined up... filed, along with Windrush and Grenfell!

Slip another Tory behind the mighty BBC mic, why don't we? Just in case! When even the sheeple are becoming somewhat restless quite naturally the chessboard is going to need a bit of a shuffle. "Tell a lie often enough and it becomes the truth?" Goebbels or Gove? See if you can't just hone that message, won't you please Mr Tim Davie.

So, now the BBC, once the envy of the world- I think I recall- now finds itself tasked with the role of specifically not joining up those dots. Just where will we hide all those formerly fine journalists? Because, if- just 'if,' you have to understand- the tests did happen to, well, 'not happen,' how could we track and trace them? If the good Mr Davie pulls all the right strings- snips a few of the wrong ones- will it really matter that much? Just so long as the job of not properly tracking and tracing tests which have, or have not, been carried out can be privately outsourced. Can we spin that one?



Will we need to roll out Cummings yet again, quite so soon? Has he 'fully' recovered from the virus that he never actually had? How long will he need to self quarantine? Is it possible to still be infectious- or is it 'toxic?'- from something that he never actually had in the first place? What's he like at cutting and pasting the past? Does he have form? What does 'the science' say? What can we tweak it to say? What happens if somebody asks, maybe on late night television, maybe on, I dunno, Newsnight? Is Mr Tim Davie, former Deputy Chairman of Hammersmith and Fulham Conservative Party, a safe enough pair of hands?

If only we could 'draw a great big felt tip pen line under it all!' 'I will not mark them down!' Surely it's (a three line whip) 'time to move on,' and to concentrate upon getting back to normal, the normal of care workers and those still battling in the NHS not being essential workers any more? Surely, we've clapped (stipulated four-and-a-half minutes weekly) for long enough! We certainly don't need people enquiring, "After the clapping, what now?"



Although Boris's largess has brought about twice, thrice, the number of fatalities, that were feared at the outset (Chief Medical Officer), although the UK now has the highest Coronavirus fatality count in Europe- accelerating ahead of the competition- almost the world, although the UK's per capita toll is likely higher than any other nation, although the nation's diagnosed case count has just become the highest in Europe, although there really is nobody else to blame for the depletion of the NHS, nobody else to blame for the under provision of PPE, nobody else to blame for the woefully sluggish reaction to the early pandemic, to blame for the indefensible abandonment of scientific rationale, still his ineptitude astounds us. It burns out like an angry beacon in a storm of its own causing. Still bluster and spittle, and money alone, will not dull its awful lustre!

But, if we can just put the ongoing 'bloodbath' of the Tories making firmly behind us, 'move on' to Brexit and the environment! The climate! But probably less so the environment... the climate! If we could just move seamlessly from, 'now is not the right time to talk about it,' to 'people just want to move on from talking about it.' The NHS is open for business! Feeling confident, everyone?

Finally the reactionaries hold all six aces in the fixed deck...
... and still their own media cannot make them appear half capable.  
Don't forget to wash your mind...
... often!