The Numbers Game Language

"Would you like to check out here, sir?"

I declined. I explained that I try to avoid 'self checkouts,' out of respect for the staff whose jobs might well be inversely dependent. Obviously, I wasn't quite so damned pompous!

"That's a common misconception." the lady at the till was able to clarify. Or, so she seemed to think.

Catholics and Dragons?

Obviously not a paying parking space.

"The old numbers game!" I parried. But she wasn't biting. Anyway, there was an orchestrated queue, so prudence seemed to be in order. I thanked her for her help, and made my way out to the car park. Generally speaking, in such situations, I'm invariably something of a cantankerous old so-and-so! Even as I was exiting the warehouse, the followup line was fighting to take flight, but I bit my lip. Short of opening the debate to questions from the floor, drifting slowly homeward really was the best option.

The lady was very pleasant! Definitely no dragon! She appeared steadfastly loyal to her employer, and 'the numbers' had apparently stacked up in her favour. That is, "Not a single job lost to the self-checkouts!" So, she was sort of right!

But, only 'sort of,' she was also mostly wrong! And, it had saddened me that she'd been so proud to be so!

Obviously, she'd failed to factor in the fact that any increased staff productivity would be circumnavigating workers, en express route to the CEO and to the company shareholders, or that the next half dozen 'moving on' staff were not going to be replaced. But, Hell, no redundancies today! And this particular company were proud of their adherence to the minimum wage 'guidelines.' No mean feat, in these austere times. But, several of the more popular non-self-checkout options had most definitely been lost! Hence, the orchestrated queue!

Is this really such a proud boast? Is this really the best of what's still to come?

Orchestrated, but no queue.

Incidentally, the dragons with which I've chosen to embellish this post will be offering scant opportunity in the manner of continuity linkage- most beautifully embellished as they are- so hang in there! The dragons I've referenced are poles apart from those far more austere TV dragons, the ones that might well be cashing in, big time upon the ingenuities of others.

"I'm in! 0.04% of my worldly wealth, for 85% of your's!"

My goal is simple! It's to visit all eighty-four of these dragons under my own steam. That is, without recourse to the ol' motor, or bus, or whatever. Me or me and my bike! And, when I say, "My goal," what I mean, in this instance, is my tiny recreational one; obviously this post more than alludes to a far more significant and pressing goal!

So, 'twas a tad bothersome to find that most of the in-store- 'a-bit-of-fun-for-the-kids'- dragons were secreted away upon the third floor. Fun for the kids maybe, but also a these-days-sales-opportunity never to be missed, as accompanying adults will be dragged through the entirety of the store. "Enjoying it much yet, mum with three kids in tow?"

"What better place to situate the beasts, than adjacent to the children's department?" staff might counter. Indeed they well might. Which brings into question, why the children's department is on the third floor in the first place. "Children have an innate love of heights," maybe?



My photos incidentally, are care of an Apple application by the indifferent name of 'Photos,' with which one or two of you may already be familiar. And, should this be the case, I'm guessing that this won't have been through personal choice. Mine wasn't! If only we hadn't surrendered all of that power to the corporations. Ho hum! As the checkout lady might have clarified, "Not a single photo lost to the serious downgrading of your already-paid-for editing package."

The Apple dawning dictatorship- now more wealthy (powerful) than most nations!- owns just that little bit more of your soul! "But hey, have you seen the latest iPhone?" I have, that would be the mobile being used by three out of every five people who distractedly collide with me on the high street, but it doesn't solve my photo-editing conundrum does it? Apple- the same Apple that sold me the application- have decided to no longer support 'Aperture,' made redundant upon the stroke of the latest software update, 'Photos' will do! "And not a wink's sleep lost to corporate conscience," the techno-whizz with the sweatshirt might have elaborated.

Might we be permitted to pay for another Apple application, Mr Apple?

In truth, I'm being slightly disingenuous, Apple might be able to sort it for free, should I drag my heavy Mac into the store. Or I could pay, over the phone. Whether or not it's sortable, I've yet to discover. But every tiny upgrade will continue to further downgrade my remaining life-force!

House of Frazer had no dragons- the one on the doorstep didn't count- but they did have exactly the sorts of sheets and pillowcases that we've been looking for. Unfortunately, the means to pay for the same was somewhat hindered by my bank. HSBC- the same HSBC who were recently organising for wealthy business people to evade the jolly inconvenience of taxes- have seen fit to turn the tables, but this time entirely upon their less wealthy savers. A tiny matter of 'verify by Visa' popped up at the till. "Working hard to protect your money," might have been proffered.

I mean, obviously I've written the damned thing down, but that was back at home. Not being able to carry that thirty-second pin number or password in my skull had finally put paid to my attempts to access my own bank account. Perhaps HSBC were going to need these meagre funds to help those rumbled wealthy businessmen, I thought. "And not a single penny lost upon your desired purchase," the salesperson might have countered.

Reflecting life.

One of my favourites!

One of two victims of UK hospitality.

Life sort of goes on, and hopefully without a sponsor's theme tune. Just apply this austerity program, as advocated by all bar Mr Corbyn, and we might just live to see the promised new dawn. All pulling together! Incidentally, my part in the nation's frightful overspending spree was limited to one bogus purchase. And that would be a rather foolish investment in RBS, undertaken 'on my behalf' via my 'elected' government. I'm currently investigating the mis-selling compensation route. Apparently, if I'm willing, I might soon be permitted to buy back a chunk of RBS, from myself! Does this mean that the money stays in my account, or does it- slight of government hand- end up back with the crooks? It's all very confusing!

Except, it's not! It's actually very simple, very simple and very, very alarming! As Lenin is supposed to have said, "A lie told often enough becomes the truth." And, he may well have had his detractors, but clearly there are more than a few selective fans also!

I think that the * Jeremy Corbyn situation, perhaps best illustrates where we're currently at. But, only if we're prepared to put those comfy blinkers to sleep! They've become almost like a favourite old jumper, haven't they? He questions the current adherence to Europe's Austerity Program. As a consequence, he obviously draws fire from the likes of The Mail, The Telegraph, The Express, The Tories blah, blah... But, it extends far beyond this to incorporate The BBC, The Guardian and numerous purportedly leftward-leaning groups, it's currently burrowing into the nation's very fibre. It goes almost without mentioning that the like of The Guardian won't be treating its readers with the utter contempt that The Mail does its readers, the subtleties will be more nuanced, but the final destination is pretty much identical. Even those in 'his own' party appear to be reserving greater firepower for Jeremy Corbyn than they do the creators of the economic crisis. Top businessmen constantly in our faces! "They far better understand the finer machinations of the markets." "They're the experts."

Well, yes and no! They're the experts in so far as it serves their interests. And they're 'presented' as the 'experts,' regardless of how honest they're actually being. In reality, you'd be more likely to get a balanced opinion from a well-read student or public sector worker. But, even here the real issues have been skewed, and alarmingly so! The question might better be, where do we access our information, and even more precisely from whom do we acquire this information? Blair knew who owned what and who might best grease his already greasy palm!

Life might go on, but the language has changed, and our understanding of it has most definitely changed! Whatever it is we're being led to believe...

... and irrespective of the language, there's a fair to good chance that "That's really a common misconception!"

* If you can find time to reference just the one link, I'd suggest this one. It perfectly illustrates the more nuanced approach to information sharing. In contrast here are eleven minutes of Mr Corbyn.