A Rich Tapestry

… or an oily rag, fit for disposal?

A while ago I stopped to consider the sparsity of 'hits' that my posts might attract. I know that I tend towards verbose- not always a good thing in these busy-busy times- and that I remain a relative 'nobody,' so why expect more? Which I really didn't.

But, then I paused to further consider the many sites that I routinely visit, a few of them clearly attracting far greater footfall, but most perhaps not, yet all with something to report which I'd considered worthy of a read. You see, the thing about many of these sites- just a few linked via my blog- is that the vast majority of them tend to widen the national and international debate; that is to say that, often, they consider issues which 'our media' have either 'chosen' to ignore, misrepresent, or have simply attempted to bury. And invariably, it seems to me blatantly wrong to ignore/accept this approach.

So, then I duly reconsidered my own contributions, yet, all the while recognising my tendencies to prattle on, and to have a politicised view upon so many things. In conclusion I thought I'd tail it back a bit! But then life goes on to bite one in the posterior yet again, upon which one absolutely has to respond!

So, t'other day caught us watching ITV! Thank the Lord that there were no witnesses. Our excuse being that ITV have commandeered the Tour de France coverage. This in itself is actually a very good thing, if you pre-record and fast-forward all the gunky commercials. It might otherwise have gone to parasitic Sky, thus further depleting the UK's already sparse sports coverage- care of Jeremy Hunt (JC) et al! At this juncture, we could reflect upon recent government assault upon The BBC, and whether we expect this to enhance our TV access or to impinge upon the same. We could consider the vastly increased volume of commercials to which your viewing-hungry child may consequently be exposed. We could, but we shan't.

After The Tour stage completion, we simply stopped watching but entirely foolishly permitted the TV to drone on in the background, washing our subconsciouses with all manner of drivel. That is, until the 'News' happened to refocus our attention. Two items stood out, I think in succession but cannot be sure upon this latter point.

The first item involved Kleyo De Abreu, a young student who tragically struck an adjacent bridge whilst bungee jumping in Lanjaron, Granada, Spain. The second item concerned an incident closer to home, at an industrial estate in Norwich, where two men were sadly killed in an explosion.

Neither of these incidents were new to me; I'd gleaned details about both from earlier reports. And here's the thing, in each of the earlier reports a close relative had been interviewed by news teams. A father and a brother had both naturally expressed great sadness at the loss of a loved relative, a daughter in the former report, and a brother in the latter. Both father and brother presented with dignity, whilst being understandably saddened by these awful events. Each was quietly trying to somehow to comprehend the tragedy.

Which rather begs the question, why it was that these victims of cruel circumstance were to be so shoddily treated by (on this occasion) the ITV News Teams. During the evening reports both victims were seen to be insensitively badgered until the requisite tears were duly extracted. Thereupon, the camera man-or-woman zoomed in to concentrate the viewer's gaze upon the grief-laden faces. Whereupon tears could be witnessed to fall, the (online gaming) viewer judged perhaps incapable of otherwise imagining the grief! Job done, swiftly onto something else!

Aspirations! As a news team, ideally these might be to expose rampant corruption or injustice, to draw the viewer's attention to the most pressing of national and international concern, to ensure that democratic ideals are always upheld- clearly failing on this point- to highlight humankind's greatest achievements. There is a wide array from which to choose.

Or they might be, to focus upon the bullied face of grief, that we might catch the cameraman's drooling reflection in a single perfect crystal tear. I give you art, Mr Damien Hirst.

Ashes to Ashes...

… or 'For whom the Bell tolls.' Choose your own epitaph! Although probably not quite yet, 'Too many Cooks…' Not just yet that is, unless we are, perchance, contemplating the captaincy, and even then I'd be pressing for a somewhat more cautious approach, that is at least until I settle more comfortably into this alien-feeling chair.

But enough of this easy cut and pasting of clichéd quotations, and instead on to this most heavy and pressing burden of my current responsibilities.

"So, ahem, It is with great sadness and a heavy heart, that I find myself having to announce the cancellation of the current Ashes Series. Some time in the immediate future, should my current responsibilities as temporary 'Head of The MCC' be made more permanent, I will be pressing strongly for no sudden changes to this unsteadiest of helms."

Winding down, as I was, for the summer recess, I'm sure that I don't need to over-stress the depth of my  hesitancy at climbing unto the breach. Yet, without this having been made blatantly evident to the wider public, this breach (post) had remained un-soldiered for far too long! And it certainly wasn't that I'd set out with even the most slender inclination of stepping into this role. The truth is that I hadn't fully paused to consider the potential links to England's paucity of cricketing credentials. I'd rather just assumed that 'we' were working through another one of those cyclic and routine English cricketing collapses, as certain as night follows day.

That is, until strolling towards the magnificent Lords Cricket Ground on the Sunday, I was rather unceremonially accosted by a most curious looking character- didn't know me from Adam- pleading in the most Etonian of accents. This gent was jolly proper, so much so that I'd initially assumed him to be conversing in some sort of foreign tongue. Indeed having resided in the UK for the past decade, I might more naturally have assumed him to be asking for money, but no!

"For the sake of all that is holy…" the character pleaded. The situation was so bizarre to me that my recollections, such as they are, remain cloudy and unclear, but I am as certain as I can be that this jazzy-blazered chappy had genuine tears in his eyes.

To cut to the chase, this most unexpected of encounters culminated in my acceptance of the post of, 'Head of The MCC.' I can't even pretend that I'm yet entirely 'reluctant,' as, truth be told, I'm still in something of a daze! I've not been home for fully an hour yet, and still I'm digesting the fuller implications of the MCC's hastily convened meet. Any more recent events have served merely to further consolidate my determination to do what is right!

"The MCC fully recognises that there will be severe financial implications to this decision, yet remains unanimously adamant in their resolve. Those members of the public wishing to avail themselves of a full ticket refund should proceed through the usual channels. We would request that callers exercise patience, in the event of busy telephone lines. At this juncture, we would also like to thank the Australian Team for their indulgences to date, and to wish them good fortune in securing an alternative and more befitting series against a more adequately equipped opponent."

"The MCC fully expects a future English Eleven to be able to compete at a level more befitting of a national team during the upcoming 2017/2018 Australian Ashes Tour, when we will have sifted through the  debris and debacle of recent events and, it is to be hoped, laid a more sturdy foundation."

"The MCC offers its most sincere apologies to both the Australian Team, for the inappropriateness of the most recent encounter, and to Mr Ian Bell for the briefest of interruptions to his otherwise lazy weekend. But, on a more positive note, those hardened loyalists may be pleased to note that the retained Mr Benjamin Stokes did manage to catch the earlier train."

As an aside, I am aware that there are indeed other sporting spectacles available to the less discerning sports fan, whilst all the while recognising that these will be of a somewhat lesser calibre, that is decidedly 'not cricket!' Whilst on the subject, sympathies must go out to Mr Christopher Froome, recipient to recent projectile urine assault whilst competing in the Tour de France. Were my role to be instead that of Sky Team Coach, I might be inclined to have Mr Froome's urine-soaked kit tested for performance enhancing drugs, just to establish the level of sophistication of the current protesters. If nothing else, a 'positive' would imply a deal of introspective pre-Tour planning on the part of the pseudo-protesters.

And that 'Bell?' 'It tolls for thee,' because 'no man is an island!' No, there is undoubtedly an unfortunate joined-up-continent feel about the current England Team. Whereas a much-needed-and-refreshing narrow channel or inlet might well assist in preventing further contagion. 'Remember that life is a great Ballancing act.' Although curiously, it can also, on occasions, have a tad too much Ballance!

'The Sky's the (viewing) limit,' might be rather more apt, in light of the government use of the current austerity screen. It's counter intuitive thrust entirely, if somewhat dejectedly, sums it all up.

"At this juncture, it would be remiss of me here not to take this opportunity to dispel current rumours that the England Team requested a Lords featherbed wicket, in order to nullify the Australian attack. And to clarify that the 'current' MCC considers that it would be improper to venture any such similar statement on behalf of the 'former.'"

Obviously, evidence suggesting that Messrs Anderson, Wood and Stokes believed it to be so, and therefore bowled accordingly, will need to be omitted from the final draft of this statement.

"In conclusion, I should like to pay homage to Mr Ed Smith, who was able to so succinctly appraise the depth of the current crisis in stating, "I can scarcely remember an innings where a wicket looked less likely to fall than Australia's innings. I can scarcely remember an innings where wickets looked more likely to fall than this England innings."" 

* The full unedited version of this MCC announcement is currently available through 'Catch Up,' on one of Sky's many monopoly sports channels.

Wilde Savages!

When the Emperor Hadrian's Wall was built, some time around 100 AD, in order to "keep out the barbarians," it was planned to be operating in entirely the wrong direction. Were it operating today, maybe it would be hoping instead to 'keep the savages in.'

Hadrian had sought to keep the 'civilized' empire intact, to seal the borders from uncivilized attack, to protect the more cultured races from invasion. Today this historical site marks another border, that separating the humane from the savages, as the issue of fox hunting again rears its ugly head. That is to write, the noble head of the native fox, as opposed to the foie gras and vintage port stuffed heads of the idle rich.

Yes, whilst the rest are being fed the tired old lies relating to the 'benefits' of austerity, those who are never affected by such things- except for those opportune moments to cash in upon the misery of others 'less deserving'- are busily manoeuvring to repeal * 'the fox hunting laws.' The only 'belt tightening' that might ensue here, might be in order to spare the horses.

Many thanks to Hunt Sabs

Should we observe this blatant hypocrisy against the conveniently buried story of 'The Middleton Hunt rearing fox cubs, in order to supplement the currently much depleted fox population,' we might consider this move in a more informed light. To spell it out, our native red fox population is currently considered low enough to require the additional release of captive animals, yet at the same time being considered numerous enough to require culling. Amongst the hypocritical classes such issues may have become nothing more than an issue of personal conscience, where clearly none exists. But to the wider electorate this should be of greater concern, lest we should wish to blunder onward, entirely oblivious to what is being considered on 'our behalf.'

The term 'savage' purports also to refer to a less civilized being, perhaps a stage of development which we have long since hoped to have surpassed. Savages, acting rather like animals- a comparison with which I have often struggled- would necessarily place the self above others. The concept of sharing would constitute a degree of civilization, thus should be considered to be beyond savagery, ergo a savage would not share food, but nor would a savage plan ahead regarding feeding itself. It is 'sold' to us that we have 'developed' beyond this.

Many thank again, to Hunt Sabs

'Moving on, we find that a huge chunk of 'the 'civilized' modern world not only no longer shares its (abundant) food, it now actively destroys much of this in order to maintain profit margins and to further the monetarist's ideals. The supermarkets may hide this fact behind the pretended logistics, but the mountains of surplus food should be allowed to 'speak' for themselves. 'Surplus' is the term applied to this destroyed food, that might otherwise keep other human beings more comfortably alive. But, perhaps this, many of us already knew! These discoveries are hardly recent, which rather begs the question, why has not more been done to resolve this issue?

Those that propose to repeal the * fox hunting laws appear to have devolved beyond even this, that is that whilst 'owning' the means of production- they own pretty much everything- they now seek to again butcher that which cannot be eaten. As Oscar Wilde so succinctly put it, "The unspeakable, in full pursuit of the uneatable."

* Before we profess great indignation here we might first consider that the idle rich are anyway routinely and almost daily flouting current fox hunting laws. How dare we seek to exploit democracy, in order to impose so upon 'our betters!'