Election Earaching

Is it really that time again? It's not unlike Christmas, in that the whole thing starts to gear up into full throttle far, far too soon, don't you think?

Nick Clegg is behaving not unlike some sort of demented child who's been sucked in entirely by the glitzy world of advertising. His disingenuous smile might send shivers down the spine, should one elect to watch any of the current TV news programmes, or listen to his 'happy' words. The 'bad Christmas' of four (and-a-bit) years ago is but a fading shadow in his resurgent mind, the broken promises barely registering an echo in the deeper recesses of the electorate's memory canyons. 'This Christmas' Nick is promising to be much, much better!

Let's peruse his "Christmas list' shall we?

1. He promises to 'finish' the job of cutting the deficit. Oh, and "fairly."

We should focus particularly upon the word 'fairly' here. Nick, ever the eye upon the chance of self 'betterment,' will of course abandon such pretences in the wink of an eye, should an opportunity of coalition with either the Tories or UKIP present. Cabinet post trumps naive electorate, as 'twere.

Even should Nick manage to culture a spine we have the sad and unfortunate problem that he apparently believes that the current path is largely a fair one. The undertaken policies have after all only been possible through the 'endorsement' of the Lib Dems.

2. Nick also promises to protect early years education, sixth form and college budgets.The absence of any mention of the bulk (and the rest) of the education system should be raising a few alarms here... "Cradle to college," it most certainly isn't!

This sort of harks back to the old tuition fees chestnut. Any way that we can draw up some sort of binding contract, do we think?


Thanks greatly to Nationaal Archief

3. Nick says he will, "Cut energy bills," and introduce, "A national programme to insulate homes," through, "Council tax related incentives."

One area where we can't actually blame Nick, much as we might like to. Sadly selling off any sort of national interest in energy companies, as Thatcher did, has resulted in share-holder interests trumping affordability every time. Of note though, the coalition, under the auspices of Deputy Leader Nick Clegg, has seen virtually all of 'our' already-privatised utilities sold off to foreign interests. Thus, the chances of any realistic positive government intervention become ever more distant, unless Nick is secretly planning to re-nationalise the lot! Do this, Nick, and I'll pledge you my vote!

4. He claims he will protect and guarantee state pensions, with something termed a "Triple lock." This curious little 'guarantee' proposes to raise the state pension annually, by the greater of three 'options.' These being inflation (always easily manipulated by virtue of there being two means of calculating this), average earnings, or 2.5%.

Already this 'guarantee' looks unlikely to survive beyond the 2015 election. As we know, to our costs, election 'promises' are usually nothing of the sort, even should any political party choose to adopt this one. Another coalition with the Tories will see this illusion in tatters within days I would imagine. Also of interest, average earnings have all too frequently been a malleable tool of government, as current wage 'increases' should testify. So 2.5% is it? Mmmm..! And that's before the backtracking even starts.

Deregulation in the housing market has brought about the UK building the smallest 'homes' in Western Europe. The same umbrella of (de)regulation also 'covers' the insulating of these boxes. Even should Nick be 'true' to his word, it was during the Coalition's watch that many of these Lego-style houses were erected. Shall we invite a Scandinavian team over, to share thoughts on current insulation standards in new homes? One wonders also what they might have to say about standards in rented accommodation?

5. "Protect your privacy, by updating data laws for the Internet age, with a digital bill of rights."

Good luck with that one! I'm pretty sure that I currently retain only a small part share of my 'own' soul, brought about through an unfortunate oversight regarding a missed tick box during an on-line purchase debacle.


Thanks again Nationaal Archief

6. Nick says he will, "Close down bogus colleges and tighten up on English language tests."

I'm thinking that this is going to apply solely to those colleges professing to offer language tuition to people moving to the UK, otherwise he is going to be spending much of his first term shutting down many of the free schools and academies (heavily leached upon by private interests) for which his Coalition was responsible.

Lord alone knows how many terms of a seriously committed government might be needed to repair the damage done by the satanic Gove. Under your auspices, Nick! 

7. "Fixed term parliaments!" This, in order that the political climate cannot be so easily manipulated by governments. That is to say that pre-election 'bribes' might be more difficult to organise and bring to fruition during a fixed term.

Me thinks that Nick would be more on the ball, if he drew up any form of legislation that might hold some sort of contractual weight, any sort of contractual weight! But this type of idea might completely neutralise the entirety of the Lib Dem Election Manifesto. I think it would be more than fair to recall that this anyway is exactly what we all associate Nick's Lib Dems with.

In summary, I believe that the current crises in Education and the NHS have not only been seriously exacerbated by the current coalition, but that the crises have actually been driven and stoked by this Coalition. One only has to take note of George Osborne's non-linear political thrust to recognise the apparent contradictory nature of this government's policies. The damage to education is almost beyond farce! One might be forgiven for wondering whether any UK government is any longer capable (or even 'permitted') to legislate on behalf of the real electorate.

Electorally thinking, the Lib Dems are almost an irrelevance! It's not that Nick Clegg is any worse than any of the alternatives, except to repeat that much of this damage has been wrought during his watch. I just don't like the idea of him pretending that the electorate are devoid of memory, or that he is somehow better or different to any of the alternatives.

He patiently is not!