My car is just a car, and it's nothing like a Golf.

Is it a quest? Am I in search of some modern version of, or alternative to, the Holy Grail? Am I driven, or compelled, by the challenges set before me?

Well, no, no and… probably no (I think). I do however believe, and with a burning sense of self-assuredness, that the Britain we think we know and understand is changing more quickly than we can possibly fathom, in ways that most of us can be only vaguely aware of, for the betterment of… well, it certainly ain't us, that's for sure. I don't lay claims to a greater or deeper insight than the next person, maybe just a shorter fuse!

While we're on the subject, I regard this as a duty; I definitely am not 'loving it'. As far as the research goes, 'every little helps' does not concur with my findings to date. That 'little extra' has contrived to be anything other than little or extra- or helpful. 'I'm worth it' has proven to be so far from the truth that words (almost) fail me. Far too frequently, I have found that it damn well does not 'do what it says on the tin'. And should I choose to call anybody about the matter 'who am I gonna call?' Well, it most certainly won't be '118 118'. So far, and with all things considered, I don't believe that I can 'feel the difference'. I have found it to be resoundingly the case that 'impatience is (not) a virtue'. And, as I look ahead, I can say, with an element of certainty, that 'the future is (not) orange'- undeniably something from a wider palette, a tertiary maybe, a very dark brown for instance. Oh, and my car is 'just a car', it is not 'an extension of my personality'.

Advertising, enriching the language of Shakespeare? Or conceivably not...