Worst Loathing Question

So, the lies and the false promises and the bribes and the gesturing of the great and mighty money-lenders comes to an undignified and a sweaty halt! Scotland has (not really) decided! But that's usually how it goes with pseudo-democracy in the good old U of K! Panting and slightly tearful, we await a fuller assessment of the damages, and it really didn't take long for the first signs of these to appear...

Such was the depth of feeling that 84.5% of those eligible, turned out to vote on the issue of Scottish independence. Such was the consequent 'concern,' south of the border, that the lie-machine was caused to crank right up through the gears. No longer were the usual falsehoods, as perpetuated by the likes of The Daily Mail, deemed powerful enough. No! Instead, tried-and-tested-and-found-sorely-wanting politicians, of the likes of Brown, Clegg and Darling- I believe that even wanted-war-criminal Blair put in an appearance- were wheeled out, in order to puff-the-smoke, realign the mirrors, muddy the waters, and to generally spread confusion and misinformation. It's rumoured that Cameron managed to squirt out one solitary formulaic acid tear. The stakes were deemed to be that high! 

Darkness, by Roberto Fontana

When the votes were allegedly counted it was 'found' that as much as 55% of the population was either pro-union, or financially-intimidated, or otherwise-uncertain-enough to have placed a mark in the 'No' box, when asked the question, 'Do you agree that Scotland should be an independent country?' Thank the Lord, that all of those landed family estates are to remain safely in the hands of their English masters!

Upon waking, my initial reaction had been one of relief. I'd always hoped that Scotland might stay. I love the country! I like the people (mostly), and the landscape, and I like the fact that those Scots, to whom I have spoken, generally seem to have a rather more egalitarian outlook than their English counterparts. I like the fact that, where the country's politics might differ from 'our's,' that the Scots generally tend to have got it right(er). The Scottish parliament is not so keen to parcel up and sell off the NHS to business buddies of dubious intent, neither are they so keen to allow their education system to be kicked about quite so brutally as is always the case south of the border, neither do they appear to regard their in-need-of-care elderly residents as merely cash cows, being steered relentlessly towards pauper's graves. I could go on. 

I didn't want to see the MPs who had voted counter to the English slice-it-up-and-sell-it-off ways to be yet further removed from the UK's decision making. Sometimes it seems that Scottish and Welsh MPs might just be the remnant conscience that has long since been so brutally cauterised from English politics. So, yes, I was glad they had stayed.

But, had I been Scottish, I'd surely have voted 'Yes,' for entirely the flip-side of the same reasons. The huge cloud of misinformation, that 'The Vote' managed to generate, was undoubtedly significantly added to by both sides, the first casualty was always going to be 'the truth.' They're politicians, for Christ's sake, under the current regime greed and self-serving are always going to win the day! The best that we can do (within the current soul-voided system) is to search for hints of grey amongst all of that charred blackness. And Scotland currently has a lot more of the grey than do we. 

I'm glad they stayed, and yet I'm also sorry they stayed. I'm sorry for Scotland, and I'm sorry to so swiftly see the first signs of the bigoted Tory backlash.

Darkness, by Roberto Fontana

Single acidic tear esponged from the venison-and-game-stuffed-mask, Cameron is already spawning his embittered response. Behind the lies there were far larger lies awaiting the hatching! The West Lothian Question, will yet wreak much collateral damage with England's Health and Education systems. Why, it's almost as if the man only ever felt a loathing for the Scottish people.

I predict celebratory tax cuts for English billionaires, what better way to spread the joy?

Glorious Birds And Mammals...

... and the one slipstreaming reptile.

The Norwich Arts Centre just keeps on giving! For those with a penchant for any of those hugely talented jazz-based ensembles, currently doing the rounds, this was the place to be on Thursday night (11th September).

Two concerts for the price of one! Naturally I'd leapt at the chance to watch Gogo Penguin perform; Mammal Hands, publicising their debut 'album,' were entirely a revelatory bonus! But three hours standing? Recovery, still in progress, may yet take a while.

The night kicked-off on a hugely positive note, punctuality, and never once wavered, from the self-appointed task of delivering an evening's first class entertainment, on time! The double bill is always going to require an element of timing, and so it thankfully was! At the outset I'd determined to make it through to at least the start of the second bill. But three numbers in to the Mammal Hands set and I was well and truly hooked, determined to see it through to eleven. 

Thanks must go to Alan Grinberg

That's the thing with some jazz-ish performers, they have this ability to seriously drop the jaw. Reaction from the gathered crowd suggested that I was not alone, in my swift appraisal of this group. When one is enthralled by the antics of the drummer, something extra special is generally afoot. Jesse Barrett skipped through the genres with the deftness of the magician; calypso, something perhaps oriental, a touch of latinesque skittering and then suddenly we were thrust into an entirely darker, pulsing beat. Absolutely seamless! Undoubtedly, this bunch is swiftly going to increase their following.

But, had it not been for Gogo Penguin, I'd almost certainly have overlooked Mammal Hands; more fool me!

Gogo, replete with their second, replacement double bassist, Nick Blacka, were reason enough to have paid the infinitesimal £7 ticket charge. Cascading piano circuits, that instantly drew comparison to the greatly mourned Esbjorn Svensson, screwed-down tight, almost predatory, percussion, and a rogue double-bassist on a mission, instantly set the stage alight! The band played with a virtual telepathic assuredness- capable of turning upon a sixpence- that, at times, belied belief.

Also, thanks to  -JosephB-

The beating heart of this trio appeared to be the double bassist, with his tumbling cross-cutting riffs and interspersed ethereal bow-work. Chris Illingworth, weaving his sometimes-Glass-like keyboards cascades into the mix, and Rob Turner driving the syncopated tachometer like his very life depended upon it, adding the essential spice. The trio wove the most intricate of tapestries across the airspace, enough to cause the atmosphere to throb! Two albums in, floating effortlessly through the genres, this band have clearly set their sights somewhat celestially. 

And, upon a more reptilian note, you'll please excuse me while I just delete this tat from my iPad... no thanks, Bono! * I'll be giving this one a very wide berth. Apparently it sounds like deceit...

* It's rumoured that he wears those infernal dark glasses, just in case he turns up at one of his (far too) many over-orchestrated re-launches and the room is (appropriately) completely empty; ergo entirely to protect that over-massive ego!

Universally Abhorred Vacuum!

So, if my vacuum cleaner is made half as powerful, will I have to work twice as hard or as long to clean the place? Those with domestic staff have decreed that I, and you, are soon to find out. Replete with their own cleaning staff, the answer to this issue may take rather longer to filter through to those 'serving' in the EU Parliament. Soon to follow, a vote on whether to increase 'our' EU representative's staffing budgets?

And, what do we speculate, might be the motif? Global warming, a genuine bid to save The Planet from its own most acquisitive species? More likely, James Dyson has upset someone higher up the tree, and a point is being made; we're all just collateral damage! "See that line, James? Well, don't step over it again!"

The announcement of an imminent 1600 watt limit has certainly helped to boost the old vacuum cleaner sales, cynics please note.

Many thanks to Tina H

Kettles are also scheduled to follow suite. Use a hob, for Heaven's sake! Most electric kettles, that I've possessed, seemed to generate more noise than a shuttle launch.

On the positive side though, turns out the economy wasn't doing quite so badly after all. Didn't need to force all of those 'spare room' claimants on to the streets as it turned out! Didn't need to cap the wages of of all those Public Sector workers (excepting 'hard-working' MPs), privatise that once great NHS. Oops! Never mind, eh? A bit more collateral damage?

A quick, back-of-a-fag-packet-calculation has shown that, if we factor in monies from illegal drugs, prostitution, and the black market economy in hand guns and other weaponry, that the economy was far more black than it was red. What, 'black,' charred like the soul-voided hearts of Messrs Cameron, Osborne et al?

All of that illegal war weaponry has helped no end! Perhaps, then, you shall be able to write your own glowing legacy, Uncle Tony. Money and beatification!

And finally, also in the peripheral news, the CBI is not altogether thrilled with the public's perceptions of the role of big business, particularly the roles and consequent remunerations of its CEOs. So, what to do? Conundrum!

And to Nick Veitch

They've opted to attempt to 're-educate' us. Apparently we're the ones who've got it all wrong; the values of Digby Jones live on! Expensively speaking at a venue, near to the heart of Europe, so I'm led to believe. More wool over the eyes, seems to be the order of the day, let's realign those jaded public perceptions, shall we?

Well, must rush. There's another vacuum to sort out here. I'm off to investigate a series of local break-ins. Detention centre sorted, curiously over-developed chap at the gym was more than happy to help out, with the loan of his cellar. Strange views on the master race an' all that but Dazza was sure he'd be fine. I've earmarked some dodgy locals for interog... questioning. Dazza assures me that he'll be able to persuade them to co-operate. I already know who I fancy for the crimes; strange chap, keeps himself to himself, bit of a scruff, eyes too close together. I can feel it in me water! It's pretty much a done deal!

Well, we have to operate in a bit of a vacuum these days. Police- private hire- available for royal pageant and public oppression only, in the modern day UK.